You will always remain in my heart Baby Noah..I will miss you!

Honestly, Its hard to bring back the pain i've been through but I wanted to share this story that had left a big dot within me..

If last weekend was a big bash for me, I was truly very depressed just this current weekend. It was an unexpected thing that happened in my entire life..I have a mixed emotions that i could not exactly describe how i feel about the whole thing..

This started last June 18,2008 when my friend noticed that my puppy ("noah") was not feeling well and lost his appetite. Noah is my 4 months old cross breed puppy (japanese spitz,shih tzu,maltese) a very bubbly, friendly,smart, fun-loving puppy..every night he used to go with me and my 4 yr old dog swooshie go stroll around for a "pee and popo time"..We've trained him to be his father's very opposite that means, we wanted him to be friendly so he could socialize with other people other than us and we didn't even had a hard time teaching him..because he's a smart puppy! but then time has come that I myself couldn't imagine..due to some reasons, busy with career and other important obligations, we forgot to have him immunized (parvo).

It was in the morning of June 19,2008 that I saw him sick and lost his appetite and would not even drink water..I started to worry and think of how to cure him. we called our vet to ask if we could give hydrite and vitamins. So to avoid dehydration, we gave him hydrite and vitamins to regain his appetite..i tried to feed him but he refused to eat..just trying to think positive hoping he could survive.. he was also trying to drink water all by himself that night trying to gain his appetite as well. We were planning to bring him to our vet on weekend June 21 but a very strong typhoon frank hit our place..so we were stuck at home..he was so weak that day that i had all the chance to carry, hug while telling him that he could survive..and i whispered "I love you!" and kissed him..I spent tiime with noah gave him milk..i slept beside him just to take a nap after my night shift work..when suddenly my friend woke me up see noah..oh my god! he was lying beside me looking at me..as if he's telling sorry that he couldn't survive the pain..then he took a deep breath and die..

He died around 12 noon last saturday June 21,2008..he died beside me,looking at me..I cried so hard and shout out loud calling his name! my memories with him were so fresh..I wanted to think im just dreaming..having a bad dream! I was really crying out the hurt and guilt that i felt..If only i did spare time for him for his immunization..he could live long..i was so depressed! Noah passed away and i don't have the power to bring back the past..It's a lesson learned! but somehow he knew he died with my love..he died with his favorite shirt on..my special gift! now, he's always in my dreams..I can always feel him with me..His memories will remain forever! I will surely miss my baby noah! I love You Noah!